Head Coach of The Couch

collegehumor:

What Will Definitely Happen When I Go to This Cool Nightclub  [Click for full post]

A packed club. Two VERY ATTRACTIVE GIRLS are gathered at the bar, avoiding all ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC GUYS.

GIRL 1: Ugh. I’m so sick of dudes thinking they can just like… talk to me because they’re fit and masculine and attractive and in high paying, high power jobs and have really good social skills and are nice and would make good boyfriends and have awesome, thoroughly satisfying sex with me.

GIRL 2: I mean… where are all the guys who got beat up at a Third Eye Blind concert in eighth grade?

GIRL 1: Seriously.

GIRL 2: Or, like, the guys who got called gay in fifth grade for saying “No Strings Attached” by *NSYNC was their favorite album?

GIRL 1: Or the guys with BOTH those things?

GIRL 2: Ha! Yeah. Right. A girl can dream.

GIRL 1: Is that really too much to ask?

GIRL 2: Once again it looks like it is. Oh well, let’s just call it a night and go see if anyone’s tweeted anything about comedy podcasts.

GIRL 1: Sounds like a plan. If we can’t actually FIND the guys of our dreams, at least we can admire them from afar, and then take it from there, sexual fantasy-wise.

WILL enters the club, dropping and then picking up his wallet off the floor after proudly paying the cover charge in EXACT CHANGE. He blocks the entrance for a brief, sexual moment.

GIRL 1: Wait, wait, wait. Twelve o’clock. Um… do you see what I see? Continue

MY GOD THIS IS BRILLIANT.

Source:

The truest picture I’ve ever seen. Ever.

Don’t be that guy this weekend.

PS: I’m usually that guy every weekend. Cheers!

comedycentral:

Remember artist Johnny Ryan’s awesome Workaholics/Beavis and Butt-Head mashup? Well, Johnny is back, this time with an outstanding new stop-motion promo for next week’s Workaholics premiere.

Click the gif to watch it, and while you’re over there, maybe take in a full episode or three.

Workaholics returns next Wednesday at 10/9c.

CAN’T WAIT.
Fully torqued for January 16th!

Jay (@KicksAndSports) tweeted at 7:19 PM on Tue, Jan 08, 2013: Seinfeld’s “The Subway” is the best thing to see after a long day at the office. (https://twitter.com/KicksAndSports/status/288802218335932416) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

vantitties:

m4ge:

State pride

SHAE, SVEN, I GOT TO THE PART ABOUT MOOSE AND I THOUGHT OF YOU GUYS.

No one likes Monday. I was anticipating a rough day at the office until this popped up.

(via drockwood91)

…having a new job for the past 4 months has taken a lot out of me. On one hand, I’ve grown accustomed to having weekends off. On the other hand, after I get out of work at 5, I’m too beat to create any new pieces.

With that being said, there’s been a plethora of things that have happened in the world of sports. The NFL regular season has come and gone. The Celtics have become the most bipolar team in the NBA. The MLB is on ice until next month when pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training…and speaking of ice, the NHL has risen from the dead and will start their season tomorrow.

I’m super excited for the next few months and what they hold, sportswise. I’ll try to be more consistent in terms of content. Buenas noches.

Homemade burger as big as my face and playoff football. Just like God intended. #instagood #yum #SundayFunday

Where the magic happens.
#nyc #NYE #withthehomies

babylonfalling:

in the promised land